The Rifleman

If you can't see what's so funny about this old magazine cover, then I'm not going to tell you.

You're better off not knowing really.

_Monday, October 10/ 2005


Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water...

Okay, this has nothing to do with water. It may be a data stream at some point, but that doesn't really count. Finally some new Strange Weirdness.

Hang ten!


_Sunday, September 11/ 2005


Song of the Day Update.

With the way things have been going I've come to realise that continuing "Song of the Day" in any form is just a pipe dream. I just don't have the time or resources to maintain it. I'm not going to declare it dead. Just not currently in production.

It may sound like the end, but hey -- that's what the BBC said once upon a time...


_Monday, August 29/ 2005


Why things are slow around here.

An imaginary reader writes:

"Why has there not been an update this month? Why are the "Song of the Day"s starting to sound even worse. In other words ... Where's my cookie?!"

I know I said that this isn't a blog, and it isn't - honest, but I'm about to get bloggy with it for a bit here so hang on to your hats.

You may recall me saying "I'm finally going to stay in one place for a while," well it looks like I'm on the move again. As many readers may or may not know, I happen to enjoy cooking. I happen to enjoy cooking a lot and I'm somewhat qualified so when I got a call from the Chef at a fine dining establishment at which I'd really been wanting to work...

Well, suffice to say I couldn't say 'no' and I've been back in the kitchen for the past three weeks ( or is it four... hmmm ...). So if you're ever eating at the best restaurant in Peterborough, Ontario be sure to tell them Professor Sinister sent you and have a confused look on me -- free of charge.

What this boils down to is that I've been struggling to get song of the day together for the past month. I actually entered a special songwriting meditative state for a week, sometimes writing and recording upwards of seven songs a day for a while just to get ahead enough to be able to travel and work without having to worry about doing new songs.

I'm still recording them, but it's beginning to look highly unlikely that I'll be able to keep up with the demand of one per day, and since I am no longer recording in my studio the sound quality may suffer (even more than it already does). You might hear all kinds of outside noises creeping in as I endeavour to find a quiet corner in which to record.

So there.

For those who are unfamiliar with my common "Where's my cookie?" reference I now present to you a really bad joke...



A man went to his Doctor and said "Doc, you've gotta help me. I keep eating and eating but I'm still losing weight, and there's this strange pain in my stomach." The doctor had him get undressed and after poking and prodding him in a very medical sort of way he seemed to make up his mind.

"Ah," said his doctor, nodding knowingly, "You have a case of ass worm"

The man was confused and he didn't know what to do, so the as the doctor opened a fresh bag of chocolate chip cookies he reassured him,

"It's treatable... bend over"

So the man bent over and the doctor shoved a chocolate chip cookie up the man's ass.

"I want you to come back here at the same time tomorrow," said the doctor looking at his watch, "and we'll continue the treatment. Remember -- you need to be here by 10:13 tomorrow morning.

The man was a little confused, but he did as his doctor instructed and was in the office, pants down, at 10:13 the next day. The doctor shoved a chocolate chip cookie up the man's ass "You must return again tomorrow".

This continued for a number of weeks, until one day the man arrived and the doctor announced "Today is your final treatment."

As usual, the man dropped trou, but this time he had his ass up against the table and the doctor stood behind him with a large hammer. 10:13 came and went. "What now?" asked the man,

"We wait"

10:14 ... 10:15 ... and then it happened. A worm popped it's head out of the man's ass.

"Where's my cookie?!" it demanded.

... and the doctor hit it with the hammer.


So there it is. Not that I have a hammer or anything, but I've always thought that people could learn a lot about the way the world works from that little joke.


_Wednesday, July 13/ 2005


It's Even Hotter.

Hot damn, we're apparently setting new record highs.

Not a lot of new stuff. I had a strongman competition on the first weekend of the month and that left me aching and stunned for about a week (although I was back in the gym training after only a few days). For the first time ever I managed to rip the calluses off my hands deadlifting -- yay! Next year I really have to train the events before the competition. I finished everything that was for distance or time, unfortunately not always in the allotted time (no points for you!).

Back to training for next year's powerlifing season.

New Strange Weirdness today.


_Monday, June 13/ 2005


It's Hot.

How can somewhere that gets so cold get so hot?

New strange weirdness (although not much). As always there's a new Song of the Day, and I finally moved all of last year's crap into the archives - Huzzah!

Carry on.


_Monday, May 9/ 2005


A Really Fun Month.

There's some really great new Strange Weirdness this month.

Song of the Day is still plodding along. A few have been real stinkers, but there are some with which I am pleased. It's turning out to be a lot of work, but rather enjoyable overall.


_Tuesday, April 12/ 2005


Old Enough to Know Better.

So it's been a while, huh? Well today there's a heap of new Strange Weirdness, as well as a brand spanking new section called "Song of the Day." How long will I keep that one up? Probably long after it starts being annoying, but before it starts being cool.


_Monday, March 14/ 2005


The Rise of the Fastard.

One of the reasons I've been so busy recently.


_Monday, February 28/ 2005


Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Listening to Paul Williams.

...but when there's lightning, you know it always brings me down.

It's been a busy month, and so I had no time to do any video editing (plus it's cold out and there are wolves after me "awoooo..."). Perhaps next month I'll have some new video done.

I've been trying to get this update done for a week now, and February is amost gone, so while there's likely to be exciting news within the next couple of weeks, I've run out of Feburary.


_Thursday, January 20/ 2005


At Least My Ice Cream Won't Melt Before I'm Finished It...

The update is done, and the weather around here is a balmy -30 again. It's always either really cold, or really snowy -- yay!

Never before has an update taken so long, or inspired such shrieking terror (okay maybe I'm exaggerating about the "terror" bit, but there's been a little hair-pulling along the way).


_Thursday, January 6/ 2005


I'm Not Dead.

It's been a while since I've updated the site, but believe you me -- there's a really good reason. I've been working on heaps of original content and it seems like this site gets more and more involved every month.

If all goes well there will be an update before the end of January, but until then, here's one of the things with which I've been busy. Think of it as a belated Christmas present...

My Little Cthulhu™


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